Here is a classic gem from the Greyhound List. Marcia Wood (Hecker) is a writer who can really tell a wonderful tale! Marcia has just sent us this photo of the famous card signer!
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 1997
Subject: CHAT: Turbo signs the birthday card
Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday, so I’ve been rushing around today
getting the presents and the cards and everything–Fred likes a big fuss
made on his birthday and I always try to oblige. I found a neat card at
one shop and thought–hey, I’ll try to get Turbo to put a pawprint on it.
I thought the best thing to use as a medium would be watercolor paint.
Easy to clean up, I thought–but we don’t have any watercolor paint.
And I *won’t * go buy some just for a pawprint. Poster paint–no. Oil
paint–no. Ink–no. Oh, I know–food coloring! But, heh, heh, I’m so
smart–NOT red because that’s the devil to get out. As it happens I
have a little bottle of green in the cupboard. Let’s try that.
I figured we could do it like stamp art–soak a sponge with the
coloring, then press Turbo’s foot to the sponge and then to the card.
Couldn’t be easier, especially since Turbo’s so serene. Did I think to
do this outside? No. Did I think to do it on a drop cloth? Did I think
to do this with him lying down? Did I think–at all?
We got down to business on our almost-new white kitchen floor. I got
the sponge soaked with food coloring, got the card all ready to slip
under Turbo’s paw, and even got a wet rag all set to wipe him off with.
I called him in, he came, I asked for his paw, he gave it to me, I
pressed the paw against the sponge–and Turbo decides to get curious.
Gets his nose in the green, gets his green paw on my white (stupid!)
pants, gets his green nose in my face, becomes fascinated with the
noseprints–and hey look, pawprints too!–he leaves everywhere. I toss
the sponge, but that doesn’t matter because all he needs to do to get
his other feet inked up is to step on his own footprints. And his
tail–oh no! Oh Nooooo…
Green on the fridge, green on the dishwasher, green on the wastebasket
and of course green all over the floor. Green on the walls, green on
the chandelier. The only ungreen square in the entire kitchen is the
birthday card, a pristine island in the sea-green floor. Not a single
speck of color on the birthday card–not even the swipe of a nose.
And then Turbo decides to do with his green self what he does with all
his treats and new toys–take it to his nest. In the living room.
Across my oriental rugs. In a split save worthy of Grant Fuhr I block
the kitchen door, herd Turbo closer to the sink while dancing around the
green puddles on the floor so I don’t start leaving footprints myself,
And what??? The water’s up here in the sink and Turbo’s down there on
the floor. And how do I grab a bowl from one cabinet and a washcloth
from another without letting go of his collar? And if I let him go can
I grab the bowl and the washcloth and get him back before he escapes
from the kitchen? And at this point, does it really matter?
Next year I’ll do it the easy way–I’ll teach Turbo to write his name.
On the bright side, I got Fred what he wanted for his birthday–a big,
Marcia (empress of dumb ideas)
Turbo (kiss me, I’m Irish)
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